Jack Benny

After an insurance agent doing something stupid, he / she feels like kicking the heck out of the car. Favorable treatment would be a stupid joke, story, or a Offer to read about insurance salesmen. Here are a few of them that would fit into this category, and make your mistakes seem like a less catastrophic.

If laughter is the best medicine is our insurance mandatory Jokes exactly what you should have. Some are our own originals, others are ones that we have heard. Rejected is a range suitable for printing.

1. EASY GROUP SALES A man walks into an insurance office asking for a job. "We anyone who need it, "says the sales manager." You have to stop me. I can not sell any, at all times, nothing. "Respond" The manager: "Well We can sell two rich people than anyone. If you can sell only one of them, you need a job. "The man was gone for a few hours later, with two checks, one for a $ 150,000 annual premium, the other for $ 250,000. "How the hell did you do that," said the manager asked. "I said you, I'm the world's best seller, I can each sell at any time and any place! "

"Where the urine sample?" Said the manager. "What's that?" he asked. "When you sell a policy over $ 100,000 of the company requires. Use these two bottles and take urine samples. "After he returned 6 hours later, walking two in five gallons buckets. He reaches into his shirt pocket, producing two bottles of urine and places it on the desk. "Here they are."

"This is fantastic," smiles the manager and asks, "What is in those two stinking Bucket? "The man smiles back and replies," Well, I came to the Law Association. They were wild with a convention and I sold them a group policy! "

2. Sales of life insurance Airman Jones was assigned to the induction. There, he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. Soon after, Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones almost 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Instead of asking , Joined the captain in the back of the room and listened to the sales pitch, Jones.

Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits. He told each of them: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and be killed, the government has up to $ 200,000 to your beneficiaries . pay If you do not have GI insurance, and you go killed in the battle and get the government has to pay only up to a maximum of $ 6000. "

"Well," he concluded, "the group to keep them going to send into battle first?"

3rd Fishy STORY "Enter an insurance salesman a fish and he will eat for a day. Teaching sell him, and he becomes a client to eat and drink all day. "

4. ACT OF GOD "The law of God called for all insurance contracts, which means, roughly speaking, that you are not for the accidents that are most likely to Happen to you "rest assured ---- ---- Alan Coren

5th INSURANCE CROOK A drunk walks into a bar and shouted: "I think all insurance agents are crooks. "A man ran quickly to the drunk and yells:" Take back that. "The drunk replies," Why are you an insurance salesman? " The man, in rage, shouting back: "No, I am a deceiver".

6. Player A Life Insurance Agent decides to take a good Friend with him on the racecourse and enjoy the afternoon. When he returns home his wife asks: "How were you day, you have no money." He answers back. "Well, I have nothing today earn, but my client certainly learned how to gamble worth with the figures certainly do not."

7. COWBOY An agent approaches a cowboy tries to sell an accident policy.The agent asks him: "Have you ever had an accident?". "Never," replied the cowboy. Entered "However, just recently a horse in two f my ribs and back a few years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle." Would not you call these accidents? The agent said, confused. No, "replied the cowboy." Both have it on purpose! ".

8. CARE FOR WOMEN A man and woman were sitting in the living room and he said to her: "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on a machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens simply pull the plug. "The woman, unplugged the TV and threw all his beer.

9. BIG POLITICS: "I will not say how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but I can only say: if I go, they go. "Jack Benny ---- ----

10.THE TRUTH "The insurance agent keeps us all our lives poor so that we can die rich '

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Jack Benny vs. Groucho 1955

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